Duh-d.

'Twas quite a colourful conversation between Gabbar and Duh (Duh= Superstar athlete. Stupidity personified.) that ensued yesterday, the point being that Gabbar wanted to submit his geography assignment to the concerned teacher, but had to rush for his cricket class instead. Now, Duh isn't anybody's idea of smart. He reaches the very edge of his knowledge of English with an "I didn't do it, ma'am." Think Big Moose minus the bloonde crew-cut and Midge, with all the duhs intact.


Gabbar : Duh, I need you to help me.

Duh: What, ra?

Gabbar: Write my name on this assignment and submit it for me, please.

Duh (Picks up the paper, stares at it, mouth open.) : Errrr...

Gabbar: I have cricket classes now, and I have to change. When I get back ma'am would have left.

Duh (Looks at Gabbar, slow smile creeping across his face.): Eh? Hehehehehe.

Gabbar (Tying shoelaces, or atleast trying to.): What's so funny, da?

Duh (Smiling happily. Apparently, there ARE somethings he and he alone can understand.): Notheeng, da...Leave it.

Gabbar (Raises his caterpillar eyebrows): Go and submit it, then.

Duh (Smile vanishing): Eh?

Gabbar (Grits his teeth, intensifies his grip on his tough Nike shoelaces.) : Write (Gestures with a pen) my name (Thumps himself on the chest, then coughs crudely.) on the paper, okay?

Duh (Comprehension dawning across his face. He looks like someone turned on neon lights inside his head.): Aah.. Apidiyaa? Seri, wokay... Then?

Gabbar (Clenching fists. His fellow benchmates run to the toilet for cover.): GO AND SUBMIT IT.

Duh (Duh-d.)

Gabbar, in one swift movement, wrenches the paper out of Duh's grip, grabs a pen, scrawls his name across the front, sprints to the teacher's desk and flings the assignment on it. He walks back to Duh, makes a rude gesture and breaks out into a stream of Hindi curses. Duh bids him goodbye saying, "Bye, da...Why you took the paper like that, ra?" Gabbar replies saying, "Live demonstration for you, ra... If you want I'll also show you a suicide attempt, live."
And Duh grins, baring his teeth (That are so crooked, they put the Great Wall of China to shame.) "You are so jokey, ra, Gabbar!". Gabbar turns around, waves his cricket bat like a caveman wielding his club and retorts, "Oh, you have no idea." And he walks away into the distance until he's nothing but a tiny, angry speck.