March 25, 2006
8th grade.
Sitting in science class, all our brains dead from all the tests we had written (6,okay, dudes...including algebra!!!!) Treemortrauma was kind enough to make it optional that we take down some important notes she was giving us. Having written all of it ahead of time, I had nothing to do and resorted to observing my class and simultaneously noting down my observations in a notebook. I can proudly say it cracked the peoplehood and four other people up after school when I read it out loud, standing atop a bench. Here it is, unedited: -
I wish I could stuff cotton in my ears and go to sleep. The class seems to feel exactly the opposite...lively fools. JJ is chewing on the end of his pen right now. If Treemortrauma weren't here, I'd slap his chubby face. Gabbar and Kunki are laughing and smiling at some stupid joke. Ma'am turns a deaf ear to Cyclone's screams of " Ma'am, for God's sake, STOP...I DON'T WANT TO WRITE, PLEASE!!!!" Monkey is being his hyper self, hopping up and down, his hair flopping like a Lhasa Apso's. Gabbar is bopping South Pole's head repeatedly. Bop, bop, bop. Treemortrauma says, " How duss faallouu laand inkriss soil furrtility?". Really, who is even listening to her? P is bending backwards and has rested her head on the empty desk behind her, looking funnily uncomfortable.
" Lux called me baby!!!!!! He called me baby!!!!" shrieks Beauty. She's sitting right in front of me, writing Hindi. Talk about studious. "No, sweets, he called you Devi!!!!" I say. Her face has fallen by a few feet. Cyclone keeps fiddling around with his hair, making me lose my focus. He's cute enough...what's his problem? Metallica is shaking her head with such vigour it might just fall off. Ash boy is scratching himself in the weirdest of places...boys, I tell ya!!Blue has been swivelling around again and again with speed like lightning to ogle a yawning, tired and thoroughly uninterested Sree. Oh, well.
Ma'am says " Reddy, get out of my class nooooowww." Reddy jumps off his bench with surprising agility and says " No problem ma'am", while Treemortrauma looks on, insensitive to his irreverence. Ank throws a ruler at SRS nearly knocking his eyeball out. SRS aims at Ank, throws and misses. The ruler has whacked Ashboy squarely in the head. Ouchies. Ashboy's groin scratching comes to a rude halt and he's shrieking "Ma'aaaam!!!!!!" right now. And what's ma'am doing??? Screaming at Gabbar and Monkey, asking them to shut up. I wish Ashboy would shut up...he's sitting three feet away from me and bleating like a goat. "Ma'aaaaam see thiiis boyyyy...Ma'am, look, no, pleeeeeeeeease!!!!!!" he wails. Treemortrauma doesn't give a shit. She very bluntly asks SRS who's now thulping Ashboy " Are you mad?" SRS says yes.
Hottie is yawning so wide an elephant or two could stroll into her mouth and do the Salsa. Kunki stands up. He sits down again. Dibbadinky's looking at Cyclone like he's the fruit punch in the middle of the Sahara. Ooh la la. Treemortrauma's staring at Monkey. Is she ogling him? No...no..no way...that defies ALL laws of nature!!!!! Okay, she's only screaming at him... Pheeew. Pu has thrown an eraser at Nivi and it's hit her in the ear. "Ooooooow, Pu!!!" she squeals. Metallica's baring her metallic teeth....all 32 of them as she smiles at Kunki. Poor Kunki. Now, she's laughing like a jackass. Oh, boy...
Kovi pokes PR in the eye. PR lets out a stream of foul language, all of which is incoherent. Dibbadinky gives me a look. The freakazoid. SRS has now shoved a piece of wood down Ashboy's collar. Ashboy's blushing. Why's he blushing??? Oh, Lord... Answer me...what is wrong with these people??? I ask him why he's blushing. He stares at me like I'm talking Greek. Sigh. The bell is ringing. Treemortrauma exits, furious. " Dadiya, pooshnikai ( Fatso, pumpkin), get your massive ass off my desk da!!!" screams SRS, obviously addressing Ashboy. Ashboy stands up in response and waves his hands in the air like a triumphant track runner who just crossed the finish line. Yeah...this is only ten minutes of a normal day in our class. Ten minutes.
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2 comments:
Insisted Best friend read your blog.. Showing off , if only, my cousin.. Was duly (and expectedly ) impressed..
Asked me to convey his regards and appreciation of your skills.. (especially in consideration of being so young and all that.. it was almost a hushed awe) He's on his way to being a writer..
One humbly suggests, although it has been mentioned before, that you might consider being one as well.. :)
Oh and thanks for the heads up.. Noticed the links.. Kind of you and all that!! Merci beaucoup.. Tu es tres gentile!
Oh and lastly.. Look back to the post dated Nov 10th or thereabouts.. I've left a comment..
Typical day indeed. Eighth grade .....*sigh*
Those really were the days .
Your writing skills are highly appreciated , Manvi( not only by dear KRV , but also by me ! ) .
Keep blogging .
XOXO .
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